Does this mean I can easily report the idiot behind me that is booing A-Rod?

Via PRWeb we learn some more news about the ongoing modernization taking place at the new Yankee Stadium. GuestAssist by qtags will allow fans to text message customer service in the Stadium if any kind of problem arises. The shocking part of this is that there will be customer service in the new Stadium. Never heard of such a thing in the old Stadium! Essentially it is a text message version of twitter that allows fans to complain about things within a monitored system using their mobile device.

Read the press release linked above for some of the practical uses of this system, including a heartwarming story about a couple who drove hours to the game, only to find that they had left their tickets at home. Apparently GuestAssist was able to save their irresponsible asses. Below is apparently what the system looks like for the customer service representative monitoring it (thanks to 4G-WirelessEvolution for the example):

Anyone who knows me, knows that this is a dangerous tool to have at my disposal. I have a bad feeling that they are going to disconnect my access to GuestAssist before April is over. Lets just say my complaints will be a bit more specific and a bit less urgent.

Old smelly guy without deodorant in front of me? Thats a GuestAssist complaint. Yelling like an idiot about true Yankees and booing A-Rod? Damn right I'm texttle-telling on your ass to the fine folks at Guest Assist. Don't "take ya hat off" during God Bless America? Well, in that case, I probably won't be the one to text message GuestAsssist, but you better believe that some typical Yankee fan will.

Just imagine they had something like this in the old stadium?
Waiting in line 4 Chx Fingers 4 25 mins. FIX IT...
The dude next to me @ urinal just splattered pee on me - give me sum dividers!
Woman pouring Fosters 24 oz beer chatting with bff vendor instead of serving beer. Waiting in line 4 almost 3 innings 4 beer.
Hot chocolate sold out before game even started. WTF?

Can't wait to try it out!

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If you thought the idiots yelling "Take your hat off" during "God Bless America" were bad...

I have long ridiculed the idiots who yell "take ya hat off" during "God Bless America" at Yankee Stadium. It is fine to take YOUR hat off, but if I choose to keep mine on, yelling like an idiot will not accomplish anything. As I have chronicled, this has even regressed to fans yelling "take ya hood off" over the years. I don't even want to know what I am going to have to take off next.

It has been a long standing policy for fans to be held hostage during the singing of God Bless America by our old gal pal Kate Smith. Until now, I didn't realize that this often ridiculed policy was upheld even when a patron was on the verge of a bathroom emergency.

This all leads us to this story on Deadspin (wow, that is two links in a row to Deadspin, glad I'm coming up with some original content lately). A fan was actually verbally and physically accosted and ejected from the stadium by New York City Police Officers for wanting to go to the bathroom during the 7th inning stretch. The juicy stuff:

attempted to get up to use the restroom, rather urgently, during the 7th inning stretch as God Bless America was beginning. As I attempted to walk down the aisle and exit my section into the tunnel, I was stopped by a police officer. He informed me that I had to wait until the song was over. I responded that I had to use the restroom and that I did not care about God Bless America.

As soon as the latter came out of my mouth, my right arm was twisted violenty behind my back and I was informed that I was being escorted out of the stadium. A second officer then joined in and twisted my left arm, also in an excessively forceful manner, behind my back. I informed them they were violating my First Amendment rights and that I had done nothing wrong, with no response from them.

That is only the beginning. Click the link above for the full story.

I think we all realize how absurd this is. It is time for the Yankees to take note of these incidents and make some changes. Hell, I'm all for getting rid of "God Bless America" all together!

It should be noted that the "fan" involved is a Red Sox fan. I stand by the actions of these officers if:

a) The "victim" was wearing a Papelbon or Youkilis jersey
b) Has a "New England Accent"
c) Was drinking (alcohol and Red Sox fans are always a bad combination).

I wish I knew the whole story from an objective source. Who knows, maybe this guy also said something negative about the officer's favorite Golden Boy Derek Jeter and isn't admitting it?

If anyone was there and witnessed this, PLEASE leave a comment below.

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Take ya hood off. Seriously

Rare occasion - I was at the game tonight. The following video chronicles the experience I had in my "assigned seats". I'm going to predict that yelling guy behind me had a cigar in his mouth.



Yeah Wang. C'mon Wang. AWWW Wang. I'm really sorry in advance for how annoying that was. Just think about if you had paid money to sit in front of that. It may not sound as bad on that video as it was in person. I get that you pay money to yell and cheer, but this was outrageous.

Anyway, the 7th inning stretch comes and another typical Yankee fan starts yelling "hats off" and "take ya hat off". Sadly, I am not wearing a hat, so I cannot oblige. However, I am wearing a hood, because it is about 45 degrees with a windchill in the 30's. Around a quarter of the way through God Bless America during the 7th inning Stretch, I hear "Take ya hood off". I thought I was imagining things. After all of these days of making fun of "take ya hat off" was somebody REALLY yelling at me to "take my hood off". After hearing it a few times more, I was convinced - someone was REALLY demanding that I take my hood off.

Guess what? I didn't take my hood off, and I proceeded to laugh hysterically for the rest of the inning. Take ya hat off guy has really progressed to "take ya hood off guy". What's next? "Take ya hairpiece off"? Sadly, I didn't have my cell phone cam to chronicle this experience.

Seriously, this is getting out of hand.

I'm going to miss the old Stadium. I feel like stuff like this won't happen in the new Stadium...

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Oh no! My authentic road A-Rod jersey is bad luck

Also, I ruined Chien Ming Wang's no-hit bid last year by talking about it. Annnnd I make Bob Shepherd announce my name over the PA via recording even though every other player has the new guy while Shepherd is out sick. Ok, now I'm just listing off random stupid superstitions and this isn't getting us anywhere.

Basically, I broke out the brand new A-Rod authentic road jersey, and the Yankees played like crap. I'd like to think the two have no relation whatsoever, but Derek Jeter would probably disagree.

Anyway, there was a game being played and idiots in the crowd to ridicule, but neither were too exciting on this night.

Please excuse my potentially fuzzy recollection - I dulled the pain of the horrid pitching by Mike Mussina with multiple $13 Foster beers. By the way, here is a little message for Mike Mussina to chew on over his next peanut butter and jelly sandwich - as much as I am against Yankee fans booing their own players, I'm not yelling MOOOOOoooooose anymore - I am booing. Loudly.

Manny Ramirez has hit the ball a combined 1,000,000 feet off of you in the past week, but you continue to feed him batting practice fastballs right down the middle of the plate. Seriously, get a clue.

Big ups to the cute girl who walked up the wrong set of stairs in tier section 12 and looked around pathetically until I yelled at her that she was in the next section over. She thanked me and said she always does that, not even realizing how creepy it was that myself and my buddy (Fake Ian Kennedy!) knew where she was supposed to be sitting even though we didn't know her at all. Ignorance is bliss.

Here's a question that I am sure MANY Yankee fans in the upper deck have asked - what is up with the Beck's Beer vendor who seems to have turrets and just repeats "now batting for Boston, JACOBY ELSBURY". I have seen him do this before with other teams as well. He just picks a random player from the opposing team and announces in a booming, wannabe PA voice that he is batting - even if he isn't batting. I don't really understand what the point of it is. Yes, he is drawing attention to himself, thus theoretically increasing his chances of selling the product he is hawking. However, the annoyance factor more than outweighs that and even if Beck's was my favorite beer in the history of the world, I would opt for a Miller Lite just out of spite. He did switch it up when Moose was getting bombed. He announced "now batting ROSS OPENDORF". Ross Opendorf indeed.

When the game torture was over, getting out of the Stadium was just as fun as always. The inner corridors of the upper deck were more jam-packed than usual and while I don't have one homophobic bone in my body, lets just say I didn't enjoy the close proximity of the other dude's junk to my backside. We made the smart decision to go back out into the seating area and snake through the seats until we reached the ramps to mercifully end the evening.

Random notes:
- Tino Martinez pulled the lever, counting down to the final game at the Stadium. I'm going to predict at least 5 more lever pulls from Tino this year. They should lose the Great City Subway Race and replace it with a "who will pull the lever the most times" counter. Tino FTW!
- The new Stadium is coming along nicely:

- I didn't witness any fights and I'm glad. If you like fights, check out this image from fans fighting at the Yankees / Red Sox game on 4/16
- Nobody yelled "take ya hat off" before God Bless America. Not even Fake Ian Kennedy because he was buying beer. I did receive a text message.
- There is no truth to the rumor that I ran into this guy at the game:


(yes, I am trying to end as many posts as possible with this image)

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The #21 debate, irrational Yankee fans, and how I became an elitist

In the news today comes word that LaTroy Hawkins has bowed to the fans' wishes and will stop honoring Roberto Clemente and switch to #22. Of course, this only became an issue when fans began to boo Hawkins for wearing "Paul O'Neill's" #21.

What seems to be getting buried in this story is that Hawkins has stopped wearing the number due to the urging of Yankee veteran leaders such as Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter.

"I figure if it's important enough for Jeter and Mariano and some other veterans to ask me about it, it's not worth it to keep wearing the number," Hawkins said.

My first reaction to reading this quote was anger at the supposed veteran leaders on the team. I have long been against the late 90's Yankee nostalgia of the fans (as you have read many times on this blog), and now it appears that our heroes who are left over from those teams are displaying the same irrational nostalgic feelings.

Then I thought a little more and realized that Mo and Jete very well could have told LaTroy:

"LaTroy, you are an awesome dude and don't deserve to be booed. These fans in NY are mostly idiots. Just switch your number, strike out Manny tomorrow night in a big spot, and the fans will love you forever - they are that fickle and stupid".

Then I came to the striking realization that I have somehow become an elitist Yankee fan. I really never wanted this to happen, but I am afraid it has. Attending so many games as a season ticket holder and witnessing the booing of A-Rod, the ridiculous things people say at the games and now the booing of LaTroy Hawkins have done the trick. I guess a lot of this can be attributed to maturing as an adult and reading more sophisticated baseball materials than the typical beat writer/columnist drivel.

I'm not going to apologize for the way I am. Instead, I encourage all of the Yankee fans reading this blog to drop your inky newspaper and read some objective baseball materials every now and again. For starters, if you are an internet guy, check out The Hardball Times and Baseball Prospectus and branch out from there. If you like to have a book in your hands, check out Bill James' Handbook or Baseball Prospectus (the book version). Just stop basing every baseball feeling you have on nostalgia and what you read by some idiot columnist who cans "controversial" articles designed to rile you up.

Oh yea, one last thing - "Take ya hat off". (edit: just realized this is an inside joke and I have never blogged about it. If you want to know what I am talking about, go to a Yankee game and listen to the crowd right before the recorded version of "God Bless America" starts playing. Classic.



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