Looking For An A-Rod Replacement? Look No Further Than Scott Brosius

Reading through the Yankee news and blogoverse today, there are a bevy of suggestions for the Yankees' third base quandary, should A-Rod succumb to his hip injury at some point in 2009. Name a third baseman who isn't a team's star, and he has been suggested by someone. Even Aaron Boone's name was bandied about, even if it was in a half-joking manner.

Without further ado, we present the official Stadium Insider solution to the 2009 Yankees problems:

Scott Brosius

So what if he hasn't played game since November of 2001? He is a baseball coach now, so he's still on the diamond regularly. As recently as this past summer, he was manning his old position during the Old Timer's Day festivities. The most important factor when determining a player's contribution to the team is clutch and chemistry as evidenced by the Yankees' lack of championships since Scotty Bro left*. As an added bonus, coaxing Brosius out of retirement will likely provide a boost in Derek Jeter's production, since the late 90's dynasty boys feed off of each other's grit. $2 million for the year, with a player option for 2010 should be fair (in case Brosius decides he retired too soon and wants to give the fine fans of baseball one final farewell tour). We believe we speak for the entire Yankee Universe when putting forth this suggestion.

In other news, I read an article in the free morning paper today about the exorbinant prices of the Yankee premium ticket offerings. The news here is not what was contained within the article, but the fact that I read the actual paper copy and not the digital version online. I was on the way into the Subway station and I saw the Yankee-related headline. Being one of the premiere Yankee bloggers in the free world and a Stadium Insider (please note the sarcastic theme of this entire post), it was my duty to pick up the paper and report back. After reading the months old information contained within the article, all I was left with was a feeling of apathy and inky residue on my fingers.

It is pretty unbelievable to me that the Murray Chass' and Buzz Bizzinger's of the world actually rue the day that this smudgy medium is completely replaced by digital versions. The first thing I had to do after reading the paper was wash my hands so I didn't get ink on my all-important keyboard. Never again. Actual newspapers are dead to me.

*At least this is what I would be led to believe if I had never seen baseball played and only was able to read Tom Verducci and Joe Torre in The Yankee Years

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YES Network "Yankee Classics" against the Royals and "Yankeeography: Yankee Stadium" - This must be a joke

Last week, the YES Network had the genius idea to air a "Yankee Classic" from June 7, 2008
when Johnny Damon went 6-6 with a walk-off hit. As a reminder, this was a game between a mediocre team and a last place team in the middle of June. Now, it has been inducted into a series with classics like the opening day "snow game" in 1996, David Wells' perfect game in 1998, and the World Series in 2001.

Now, they are set to air another "Yankee Classic", this time from July 25 when Joba shut down the Red Sox. Good game? Absolutely. Classic? Definitely not.

I would almost prefer SNY's 3 game rotation of Met classics. Isn't it taking something away from the actual classics? I know, I know, the YES Ultimate Road trip was finally canceled this year and they need to fill the air.

To top it all off, the YES network actually created a "Yankeeography: 1998 Yankees" and is premiering "Yankeeography: Yankee Stadium" this week. You can't make this stuff up.

Can a "Yankeeography: Yankeeography" be too far off? How about "Yankeeography: True Yankees" featuring Michael Kay favorites such as Homer Bush, Clay Bellinger and Andy Fox. The true headliner would be none other than Clutchy McClutch - Scotty Brosius.


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What makes you "the typical Yankee fan"

A couple of weeks ago, I touched on the "typical Yankee fan" (I'll spare everyone that creepy picture of the guy with the cigar).

Now, let me relay what I feel are the key aspects that make you "that guy".
(I am going to try to keep these timely).

1) You have already booed A-Rod this season - c'mon guys, that is so 2005
2) You booed LaTroy Hawkins for wearing "Paulie's" #21
3) You think that the reason the Yankees have been losing in the playoffs all of these years is because they didn't have "clutch" players like Scott Brosius (career OPS + of 94)
4) You honestly believe that a player who is a "homegrown" Yankee will help the team win more than a free agent or someone acquired via trade
5) You were still chanting "we want Bernie" last year
6) You have ever, in your life, uttered the words "Fire Torre" (in a serious manner). I didn't have a problem with people who wanted Torre replaced as the manager of the Yankees ( I was one of them), but certain people said "Fire Torre" in a certain way that made them the typical Yankee fan. Maybe this doesn't translate well on a blog.
7) Hank Steinbrenner is your hero
8) You wanted the Yankees to trade for Johan Santana in the offseason
9) You were at the game the other night and you booed Phil Hughes
10) Peter Abraham is your idol.

UPDATE (5/3/08 10:00 AM) - I can't believe I left out 11) You yell "take ya hat off" as soon as the PA announcer talks about rising and honoring America for God Bless America. We get it, you think we should honor our country. Everyone does it in their own way - it isn't your job to make everyone in the stadium take their hat off. Take a chill pill, dude.
(This list can go on and on. Please add more in the comments section)

I run into these people all of the time at games, on the internet, in the workplace, etc etc. I'm sure many of these people are smart, funny, friendly, etc etc. However, when they step into Yankee Stadium, the become that cigar guy.

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